This poem was written at the end of a particularly bad relationship at the start of my ‘A’ Level studies, recently rediscovered two years later in the depths of my computer. My life at that period of time really resonates with me at the moment: not necessarily the pain of the end of a relationship, but the turbulence that all of us have felt with such an uncertain year, and coming to terms with the fact that any expectations for this year cannot be met. Although what I wrote about feels quite negative, especially considering the content call was heavily focused on new beginnings and a fresh start, there’s a feeling of catharsis that came along with heartbreak- of accepting the difficult times in order to begin a new and more positive chapter, which is exactly what followed the relationship this poem was written about.
‘Honestly, I never thought I could look at someone the way I looked at you
Every curve and angle
Every scar wrinkle and freckle
I loved everything that you’d do
The winter sun didn’t realise how lucky it was to kiss those cheeks
Nor the wind to steal the breath from your lips
Those lips I watched speak for days and months and weeks
Or the lines beside your eyes that crackled like rum on a fire
The stories that we told, I could never tire
Not of you.
Not of us,
Not of the lives we promised we would lead
Watercolours of a vivid future you painted for me
Of coffee in Paris and sleeping by the sea,
I never thought that you would leave.
You had starlight behind your eyes
Stars that were my guiding light
Like the blind leading the blind
Yet I still thought that you were mine.
I still saw the beauty in your flaws
All the broken and fractured parts were what I adored
And it breaks me to say
But this soured mouth won’t lie
This isn’t a poem to say I loved you
It’s a poem to say goodbye.’
Image: by Ygrek on Wikimedia Commons, URL: