The following is a transcript of my log from last night, when I had to pull an all-nighter in order to finish a summative essay in the module ‘Religion and Film’.
8:00 pm : Allright, I’ve picked the essay title. It’s going to be ‘What makes a film religious?’ Time for a break.
8.22: Have typed the essay title in a Word Document. I need to reward myself after such an exhaustive effort.
8.34: Time to work! I just need to research how I can respond to the Caro-Kann defense on my chess app.
9.03: I am now able to beat the ‘beginner’ level with a 1. e4 d5. opening.
9.06: This essay is going to be a tough one, I need stimulants. Unfortunately I don’t drink coffee out of principle. Fortunately, not all of the world’s coffe-beans have been wasted making coffe, some of them has gone into making this exquisite bottle of Patron XO Tequila-based coffee-liqueur.
9.08: Daaaaaamn, that’s smooth.
9.26: Guys, I just remembered why I don’t drink coffee – it’s because I don’t like the taste. I’ll just water it down with vodka then.
9.40: This thing keeps getting better and better!
9.55: THERE’S A POKEMON APP FOR ANDROID?!?!?!?!? Fuuuuck yeeeeah!
10.40: imma be a pokemon master lol
11.13: righty ho, religious films, how hard can it be?
11.17: Googling religious films.
11.18: Accidentally googled ‘religious milfs’ lol
11.19: Seems like Mary wasn’t a virgin after all lol. I’m putting that in the essay. But I should still do some more research on the issue of religious milfs.
11.40: The bottle is empty. Both of them. Luckily there’s rum.
11.49: Fuck this shit, I’m going to watch Terminator 2 instead.
01.30 am: HOLY SHIT ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER IS JESUS. THAT GOES IN THE ESSAY.
02.03: Guys, listen… Guys, I just came up with the best word ever… Guys, it’s… Listen guys, it’s brilliant… Here it goes… Guys, listen… I present to you… oops I forgot lol… I’ve got to wee. I’ll be back.
02.26: ARNOLDTUDE! THE WORD IS ARNOLDTUDE! When you go at something with an iron will, determination and a leather jacket and LET NOTHING STAND IN YOUR WAY. Like in ‘imma totally arnoldtude this essay’
02.50: Googling religious milfs again lol. Doing deep research GET IT GET IT
03.16: imma go all Jesus on this essay… Like, they keep calling it ‘deadlines’ but I’m going to bring it back to life and be all ‘RESURRECTION, BIATCH’.
03.30: yaaaaawn…. That keyboard sure looks comfy….