Going home for the holidays, at least for me, is bittersweet. I am grateful to get out after a long term and take a little break, with that train ride back being one long decompression. Reflecting on each term’s many up and downs becomes something of a ritual. The first snow of the season, the long nights panic writing essays or being pushed around Jimmy’s, the early lectures, the northern lights.
Going home can mean different things for everyone. For those that go home frequently, it might feel like just another train ride. For others that have been in Durham for months on end, the excitement of going home to family and friends you haven’t seen since September clashes against the realisation that a consistent routine is now being disrupted. Being immersed once more in your family life can be rewarding, especially during the holiday season. For example, my siblings waited until I was back to put up the Christmas tree – although I’m not entirely sure if it was because they missed me or because they were just too lazy (two things can be true!). I get to see my friends from home, and catch up on a term’s worth of gossip.
Although there are many good things about going home to loved ones, there are also drawbacks. I have much less freedom at home then I do at uni, where I can make all my own decisions, from what I eat to how late I stay out, whereas at home I have to adjust to particular rules and other people’s routines. Moreover, once you start feeling like an adult, it’s weird to come back somewhere you feel like a child. The independence at uni, the ability to choose my own plans and prioritise my own interests and needs, stands in stark contrast to home life, and although not a universal experience, is one that always takes a little getting used to again. The relationships you cultivate at uni as an independent adult are important, and it is definitely strange to going from seeing your housemates everyday to not living with them for a full month. For my friends in romantic relationships, I know this is even harder, and it is important to continue giving these bonds time and energy even during the chaos of the holidays.
Getting out of the ‘Durham bubble’ is also important. So named because of both the smallness of the city and justifiably criticised lack of diversity within the student cohort, going home for the holidays are an important reminder just how isolated uni at Durham can feel. It can be liberating to walk down the street without seeing four different people you know, and the contrast to somewhere larger and more diverse emphasises just how isolated and exclusive Durham can be, a problem that still has not been resolved.
Of course, not everyone can go home, due to expense, distance, or other reasons. It can be hard to see your friends go home to their families whilst remaining in Durham, and it is important to try and find things to do. The Durham bubble is not just about the people and experiences at uni, but how geographically narrow the city is. There are loads of ways to counteract the claustrophobia that may arise after a full term at Durham. Day trips to places like Newcastle, Seaham, and York are just a train ride away, and you can spend a full day wandering around markets and museums. Within Durham, too, it is important to get out of one’s term time routine. Trying different walking routes or different pubs and coffee shops now that the city is less crowded is a great option. By figuring out a new routine, the dreary winter weeks pass quickly, while still taking a break and refreshing oneself for the new term ahead.
Writing this article right at the beginning of the holidays, I know just how much I will miss Durham when I slip up and refer to uni as ‘home’ in front of my family. I feel incredibly fortunate to feel at home in Durham, and so although I will do my best to enjoy these weeks at home, I refer to the wise words of Sabrina Carpenter: ‘is it new year’s yet?’
Image: Michael Coyer on Flickr