Hands, face, (3400 miles of) space: 9 Dubai pastimes you didn’t know classed as work

With the directive to ‘stay home, protect the NHS, save lives’ more pertinent than ever, celebs are doing their bit in the fight against Corona from afar. And by afar, we do of course mean the Middle East.

Despite working hard on the beaches of various Dubai resorts, many celebs have come under fire from the general public and subsequently feel immensely misunderstood. We therefore felt it high time for the record to be set straight, so spoke with several high-profile celebrities to give them a chance to clear up any misconceptions about their recent business trips. So, straight from the mouths of our nation’s favourite influenzas – sorry – influencers, here are 9 pastimes that you could make a full-time profession.  

1. Backbreaking beach days

To the untrained eye, beach days appear to be laden with relaxation, calm and tranquillity. According to the celebs, however, lazing on a beach all day isn’t all it cracks up to be. From laborious dips in the ocean to exhaustingly napping the day away, beach days come with many responsibilities and are not to be under-estimated.

2. Cumbersome cocktails

To add to your sandy saga, beach-lounging is not complete without an hourly martini. With time-sensitive tasks such as these, relaxing is simply out of the question. What’s more, excessive cocktail consumption has been identified as a leading cause for repetitive strain injury (RSI) – a serious condition exacerbated further by the snapping of those all-important Insta pics.

3. Strenuous spa days

If you’re not exhausted enough from all that lounging and constant sipping, try spending a day in the spa. Massages, pampering and being treated like royalty really does take its toll; a fate I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy.

4. Arduous avoidance

The criticism and backlash that comes with flouting national lockdown restrictions is not for the faint hearted. After taking off to Dubai in a private jet for selfless charity work (creating content for us commoners), you now have to contend with global backlash on top of everything else. There’s just no pleasing some people.

5. Dining duties 

Sitting through course after course of mouth-watering meals is taxing. Once seated, you’re obligated to see it through, even if you’re not the centre of attention. Tough stuff, right?

6. The Grammer’s graft

Receiving a never-ending cycle of compliments and likes galore, Instagrammers truly are the hardworking backbone of our society. And before you even think about bringing up those hefty sums of advertising money, celebs would like it to be known that any profits go straight towards their RSI treatment. It’s a cruel, cruel world.

7. Desert drudgery 

Desert trips really are the toughest form of graft; a hot sun coupled with dull activities like quad biking never makes for a good time.

8. Shopping and dropping

Contrary to popular belief, shopping is work. It requires both physical and mental resilience as you fight off both muscle and mental fatigue. Your heavy bags symbolise an even heavier heart.

9. Burdensome boat parties

Imagine the fatigue, the exhaustion after a long day of relentless toil and graft. Now add hours of partying and drinking under the gaze of too-warm-a sun. There really is no rest for the wicked.

 

Featured image: Gabriele Spalla on Flickr.

 

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