‘Falling for Christmas’ review: Lindsay Lohan is the gift that keeps on giving

This review contains spoilers, if you can really call it that. Don’t all Christmas movies follow the same plot anyway?

Britney is free; Paris is married; Lindsay is returning to movies — it’s every noughties gal’s dream. And what better way to celebrate the comeback of the so-called ‘Holy Trinity’ than with Lohan’s new movie? — ‘Falling for Christmas’. A feel-good, festive romp: there’s more than enough cheesy one-liners and sprigs of mistletoe to get you through this one. 

The plot is a simple one. Social media influencer (it’s meant to be cringe) Sierra Belmont (Lindsay Lohan) is set to become Vice President of her ‘daddy’s’ company. Her boyfriend, Tad (who is also an influencer), takes them both skiing. In the car, Lohan sings her own cover of ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ (which is absolutely a ‘Mean Girlsreference and you can fight me on it). When they arrive at the slope, Tad whips out his phone to take some ‘us-ies’ (a portmanteau of ‘us’ and ‘selfies’ that is so distressing it’s almost funny). Following on from this toe-curling incident, he proposes to a disgruntled Lohan (with a wedding ring that leaves much to be desired) and in shock, she takes a bit of a tumble. Lo(han) and behold, she’s got amnesia, and conveniently winds up at hunk Jake Russel’s (Chord Overstreet) cabin. 

There really isn’t much more to it than that. And on the surface, it does sound rather terrible. But it doesn’t matter. From what we’ve seen, holiday movies don’t have to be good, so long as they have enough jokes to last till the end. With Vanessa Hudgens’ success in The Princess Switch and The Knight Before Christmas (two movies that are so bad they’re, actually, quite good) – it’s unsurprising that Lohan’s comeback is in a genre with remarkably low stakes. Because regardless of what it contains, we’re drunk on mulled wine at this point – and simply do not care. 

Although I must confess, watching a privileged, caviare-eating influencer learn how make her own bed and cook for herself for 90 minutes, is a truly glorious experience. She even learns how to watch Netflix (it’s so meta, and I love it!), with a not-so-subtle reference to A Castle for Christmas (another nice plug). After winning the favours of grandma and the kid, it’s not long before the hunky cabin owner comes swooning after her. He learns to melt his heart; she learns to be a little bit less pretentious — and bam! you’ve got yourself a Netflix holiday special. It doesn’t get better than that. 

But the real tear-jerking moment (if you can really call it that) is when everyone rouses together to raise money for the cabin, which, for some reason, has fallen under hard times. Belmont conveniently remembers her past, meaning she can plug the cabin with her influencer fame (yuck) — which, obviously, saves the business. If only things in life were that simple. But it’s Christmas; it’s meant to be farfetched. Sierra and Jake kiss under the mistletoe (bye bye boyfriend) and the credits role. Oh, and we also get a blooper reel — which is delightfully fun.

Lindsay Lohan’s return to the big screen is a festive romp of Christmas cliché and lukewarm romance. And it’s a charm. 90 minutes of Lindsay being, well, Lindsay, it’s no surprise that her comeback has been received with overwhelming positivity. With two more Netflix rom-coms set to star the actress, it seems we are in a ‘Lohanaissance’ of sorts. And, oh, what a time to be alive!

Featured image: Inga Seliverstova on Pexels

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