Writer’s Note: tuesday

Poster Credit: Rosie Dart

I’ve always thought that life is, in and of itself, fundamentally analogous of golf.

The tee box of birth, the fairways of youth, the roughs of despair, and oof, don’t even get me started on the bunkers.

And amongst all that, there we are, mindlessly taking practice swings with an 8-iron. But hey, at least you’re not that moron fishing his ball out the lake with his trousers rolled up to his knees, so that’s something!

It goes without saying that within golf, we all at some point ask ourselves that inevitable question – am I the club? Or, when it really comes down to it, am I in fact, in all interpretations of the metaphor, actually the ball? “Ay – there’s the rub!”

If the aim of life is to score par for the round, then is there anything stopping us all from going for a hole in one? Yes – the numerous aforementioned hazards. But then again, a little birdie once told me they themselves were synonymous with one stroke under par, and who was I to argue?

“It’s incredible”, quoth famous golfer Rory McIlroy. I forget what exactly he was referencing, and I’m not sure it was relevant. What is relevant is that clearly he’s got this ‘golf’ thing on lock. And by ‘golf’ in this instance, I literally mean golf.

If you ask a casual observer to liken the game of golf to a family favourite board game, the answer is always, and understandably, Risk. Should, by extension, life be comparable to Risk? Who knows! But there is at least one thing on which I’m sure we all agree: The less said about Crazy Golf, the better.

I sit writing this in a seldom used siding, just outside Welwyn Garden City. God, I wish I was playing golf. But then curiously enough, I remember that when I’m striding the links, I invariably wish I was anywhere else. Go figure!

‘tuesday’ ostensibly has nothing to do with golf. As such, this note may not be insightful. My play may also not be insightful. But at least If you come along you can judge that for yourself.

tuesday is part of Durham Drama Festival. It will be held as part of General Programme 3 on Thursday 7th February- Saturday 9th February, at 7.30pm in Caedmon Hall, Hild Bede.

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