This week, we set up two social secs. Convinced that their mutual love of sport and drinking would lead to romantic affinity, it seemed natural that they would hit it off. How wrong we were…
|‘The enigmatic nature of a blind date brings along with it feelings of both exhilaration and dread, for the multitude of potential outcomes can be a daunting prospect. Waiting eagerly by the river, I contemplated the series of events that had compelled me to willingly pursue this endeavour of likely misfortune. Was this a sign of desperation, or was it something more? Was it the thrill of not knowing? Was it the youthful spontaneity that runs through my veins? I was, and still remain, unsure. But what I do know is that i was not left disappointed by the events that took place on that fateful Friday evening.|
Being a student, I’ve become accustomed to living a destitute lifestyle, which is why I was elated to discover that the scene for our date was to be none other than Whiskey River. Not only is it one of the most expensive bars in Durham, it is also one of the most minute. Regardless, I was not to be discouraged by this initial setback and proceeded to exhibit my chivalric attributes in all their glory (at least I thought I did).
We met outside, exchanging the generic formalities people do upon meeting each other for the first time. With beverages in hands, paid by yours truly of course, we began to get to know each other, delving deep into our past lives and present. Realising we shared a number of interests - aspiring writers; keen gym-goers; lecture-skippers - my nerves swiftly began to dissipate. Things were going well. Surely this was too good to be true.
And indeed it was. No sooner after I started to relax did I carelessly lift my glass of wine to my parched lips, knocking her glass of wine (it was full may I add) in the process. Shattering upon contact with the ground, my anguish was all to see in the multiple shards of glass that were staring right back at me. An awkward laugh was my woeful attempt at concealing the pure embarrassment that I was going through.
Following a quick replacement drink, I deemed it an appropriate time to offer a cigarette, which she gratefully accepted. Into the cold outside we went, where we spent yet more time getting to know each other, while simultaneously reducing our life expectancies. By this time the alcohol had well and truly taken its toll and we were both conspicuously intoxicated. Deciding that we no longer wanted to spent the entirety of our student loans in one night, we made the decision to go back to hers where a night of debauchery entailed.’
|‘I’m not gonna lie, being set up on a blind date by a friend made me feel like quite a lot like Bridget Jones, but because I’m a good friend (and slightly desperate) I agreed.
We met at whisky river at 8. My first impressions of my date were pretty good, I was nervous that he was gonna be ugly and awkward so I was relieved that he seemed chatty and friendly and was/is a good looking guy. We talked about generic things, classic first date things like travelling and our backgrounds and Durham and found out we actually had a fair amount in common. Sadly, about an hour in I sent my housemate a text saying ‘he is a nice guy and I reckon if we’d been on the same landing in freshers we’d be good mates but nothing more.”
After receiving that text, she was then very surprised to receive another text from me in the morning saying “wtf i’ve just woken up and he’s naked in my bed”. I think it’s safe to say we didn’t need to drink 2 bottles of wine in whisky river (minus the one glass of wine that he managed to throw over the table next to us - highlight of the evening). After an unsuccessful attempt from him to get with me the following morning, we enjoyed a fantastically awkward 10 minutes trying to find our clothes before he left and we haven’t spoken since.
Writing a review of a date that you can barely remember (legend) is hard, but I think the moral of the story is, if you actually want to get to know someone, don’t get so drunk that you can’t remember walking home.’
A week later: Neither Joe nor Celia have contacted one another and vow to be less drunk on dates in future.
If you want to get involved and be set up on a blind date, please email firstname.lastname@example.org.