Mr Cuddles the Cat (Ousted Editor-In-Chief): The number you are trying to reach has been impounded by the International Criminal Police Organisation; please try again later.
Olivia Pryer (Acting Editor-in-Chief and National Correspondent): The smiles on baby turtles faces.
Sheridan Uppity-Phlipfile (Durham Correspondent): All those lovely short skirts.
Abraham Centworth (International Correspondent – DECEASED): Children playing on my grave.
Esther Thetis (Culture Correspondent): Crowds of tourists as far as the eye can see.
Tony Louthan (Sports Correspondent): Riveting sporting fixtures, like golf.
Cassandra Squall (Science Correspondent): Three months of unbroken British cloud.
