Those Lent Resolutions

Our editorial staff reveal their promises

Mr Cuddles the Cat (Editor-In-Chief): To give up homicide – status: FAILED

Sheridan Uppity-Phlipfile (Durham Correspondent): To give up smoking – status: FAILED

Olivia Pryer (National Correspondent): To give up alcohol – status: FAILED

Abraham Centworth (International Correspondent): To give up obsessively watching my old girlfriends – status: FAILED

Esther Thetis (Culture Correspondent): To give up stalking Justin Bieber – status: FAILED

Tony Louthan (Sports Correspondent): To give up mugging old ladies – status: FAILED

Cassandra Squall (Science Correspondent): um… – status: FAILED

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