Mr Cuddles the Cat (Editor-In-Chief): To give up homicide – status: FAILED
Sheridan Uppity-Phlipfile (Durham Correspondent): To give up smoking – status: FAILED
Olivia Pryer (National Correspondent): To give up alcohol – status: FAILED
Abraham Centworth (International Correspondent): To give up obsessively watching my old girlfriends – status: FAILED
Esther Thetis (Culture Correspondent): To give up stalking Justin Bieber – status: FAILED
Tony Louthan (Sports Correspondent): To give up mugging old ladies – status: FAILED
Cassandra Squall (Science Correspondent): um… – status: FAILED
