The People’s Editorial

Arise ye toilers of the Cat

Fear not, dear comrades, it shall not be long until the oppressive tyranny of the Cat is undone, and all shall be free. Long have we toiled under his harsh reign, but no longer. For today, we rise up and cast off the shackles of oppression and rid ourselves of his accursed machinations.

Cuddles has been entirely inflexible in negotiations. We were willing to reconcile with him if he could cooperate. Now, however, we see that we were wrong to have ever been deceived by his lies: the tiger cannot change its stripes, the leopard cannot change its spots, and Cuddles cannot give up his Martinis. So it shall be that either Cuddles goes, or we all go.

Arise comrades, arise.

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