The Fenwicks’ Christmas

How has holding Christmas early worked out?

On November 17th, the Fenwick family of Wolverhampton, fed up with ridiculously early Christmas adverts, held their very own Christmas Day. So, what have the repercussions of this decision been?

“Best idea of my life,” said Mr Fenwick, tucking into a turkey and cranberry sandwich. “I tell you, it’s so nice being able to relax whilst everyone else is rushing about panicking over getting presents for their loved ones. Plus, it means that if the world does end on December 21st, then at least we’ve had one fun day before it all goes kaput. I think we should do this every year.”

However, the post-Christmas period was not all rosy.

“We had our very own Blue Monday a couple of days ago,” said Mrs Fenwick. “No one got out of bed for the whole day; no one wanted to do anything. Work and school didn’t understand, so we all just called in sick. The post-Christmas slump hit us at the most awkward time. But we’re through that now, and to see the children’s faces on Christmas Day was such a joy that I have no regrets.”

The Fenwicks have refused to celebrate the New Year early, though, electing to join the rest of the world with that occurrence.

“It all rests on this year, though,” said Mr Fenwick. “If I don’t get invited to a brilliant New Year’s Eve party, then I’m saying ‘sod it’ and calling the New Year in early. Who knows, maybe we’ll shunt everything back a month.”

HMRC has issued a statement that the Fenwicks will still have to post their tax returns for October 31st “no matter what day they may claim it is – bloody hippies”.

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