End-of-term thoughts

Is it end of term already? How quickly time flies by. This phrase is however very misleading, as ‘time’ doesn’t really go anywhere, it is us who are moving through the dimension we call ‘time’. Note to self: Remember to correct people whenever they use that particular expression.

I suppose that when the end of something is nigh, the norm is that that one should point out notable memories, achievements and general stuff that has occurred during the time that is approaching termination. As I have progressed significantly intellectually, spiritually and physically this term, it seems very appropriate to draw your attention to a select few of the insights and achievements I have reached over the course of the last months:

I’ve honed my resurrective skills to such an extent that I can bring almost any deadline back to life, even after the line has been dead for an extended period of time. Furthermore, I’ve furthered public knowledge on matters of science, art and zoology. And lastly, after meditating upon the matter, I discovered that the true meaning of the term ‘Delusions of Grandeur’ actually refers to a sever case of identity confusion where the subject thinks he or she is me.

I offer these examples of my profound accomplishments in order to invite you all to reflect on your own spiritual progress and encourage you spend the holidays striving for the betterment of yourselves.

Finally, I would like to take this opportunity to wish our entire readership (and I do mean all four of you) a very festive, happy, merry and jolly Jesus-sliding-out-of-vagina celebration.

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