Disney purchases Hollywood

“It was only a matter of time,” declares Disney

In a dramatic coup, The Walt Disney Company announced this morning that it had settled a 200 trillion bid to buy Hollywood.

Speculation has been rife in the land market, but the scale of the bid has left observers astounded. “I didn’t believe it was possible,” said Marsha Crunis. “They can barely keep the theme parks open, yet they’re able to buy an entire district.”

The corpse of Walt Disney held a press conference at which he announced the sale, saying that: “This is a proud day in the history of the company, and I would just like to reassure everyone that, yes, Zac Efron will be appearing in every film produced in Hollywood from now on.”

It is revealed that Hollywood was originally owned by Chester B. Bloomington – the great-grandson of a prospector who from 1867 has owned the land upon which the film studios are built. While his great-grandfather leased the rights to the land, Hollywood itself remains the property of Bloomington family, so this new deal has instantly made this tobacco-chewing, dungaree-wearing fella the richest man in the world.

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