Do you know what I miss? Early morning TV before school, catching Newsround whilst eating coco pops. Making it back just in time for the beginning of Jungle Run, followed by a fun filled evening of My Parents Are Aliens and back-to-back Tracy Beaker. These were the glory days. No summatives, no stress, just good old Sam and Mark on your telly every Saturday morning. Now in the midst of your degree, those days seem like a distant memory… until now. Prepare yourself for some serious childhood nostalgia. Credit also goes to my friend Heather – we made this list in a Berlin Air bnb, two glasses of wine in.
Arthur – English Literature
Because having fun isn’t hard when you have a library card. What a wonderful kind of day to read Brontë in the Billy B. Arthur Read by name and Arthur Read by nature, you relate on a personal level to Buster’s identity crisis and DW’s perpetual lack of sleep.
You either didn’t get out much as a kid or your Zook got the highest ranking. Some people think you’re a bit weird but they just don’t understand the thrill of polynomials and pretend programming.
Best Friends – Medicine
A long old slog for the highly anticipated treat of graduation. Limits are tested, sleep patterns are challenged and critiques of Grey’s Anatomy are heightened. Whilst not faced with a bag of blue sweets, your pharmacology textbook provides equally thrilling contents.
Big Kids – Education
You didn’t want to grow up so decided to spend the rest of your adult years in the very place you felt happiest: school. The summatives just keep on coming but you’re prepared: armed with an excessive amount of stationary and pastel highlighters. Back to school haul anyone?
Chucklevision – Philosophy
“To me,” “to you” – philosophers pass the same question about the nature of being back and forth between each other like Paul and Barry Chuckle. Nothing really makes sense but you’re just here for the existential banter.
Deadly 60 – Biology
Like Steve Backshall, you live for adventure, animals and anatomy. Whilst the science site isn’t exactly the Guyana rainforest, getting through the Animal Physiology module in one piece comes a close second.
Dick & Dom in Da Bungalow – Sociology
Sometimes you need a bit of prompting to get out of bed in the morning for your one contact hour. Unfortunately, everyone assumes your degree is just one big game. Fortunately, living in a bungalow means you won’t have to suffer Marx’s base and superstructure anymore.
Horrible Histories – History
An oldie but goldie: nothing beats a rendition of Charles II King of Bling on the Klute dance floor. A secret party animal, you enjoy the fine things in life (a bit rah rah cleopatra) but also know when to reign it in.
King Stupid – Law
The Palatine Centre is your castle, Devil Finger at anyone who tells you otherwise. You’re not quite sure what’s more stupid: the extortionate price spent on text books or the amount of cases needed to be memorised for contract law.
MI High – Physics
You have your own language and code that nobody really understands. Can communicate through glowy up pens and photons. It’s tough juggling uni work with saving the world from master criminals but momentum keeps you going.
Mona the Vampire – Classics
Get a thrill out of resurrecting the dead. You either dress like Mona because you think you’re edgy or because you actually want to wear a cape around the library whilst reading Herodotus. Show us your fangs… or your fact file on Euripides.
Raven – Psychology
A bit of a personality complex. Pros: sexy accent, attractive, allusive. Cons: enjoys dishing out challenges and questionnaires to poor warriors who oblige under pressure. Pulls off an all black wardrobe effortlessly, also has a thing for uncovering suppressed demons.
The Basil Brush Show – Chemistry
You do experiments and they go boom boom. Kind of entertaining but once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. Loveable if a little annoying, appreciates a good natter and has a thing for cafes.
The Slammer – Languages
Whilst Elvet Riverside does have a certain prison like resemblance, at least you can escape those concrete walls with a year abroad. If you could sum up your degree with one word: Duolingo. Duolingo, sir!
Tracy Beaker – Geography
Sometimes it feels like you are just messing about with a lot of other children. Think less Duke Ellington and more Duke of Edinburgh. Unlike Tracy, you do not plan on returning to the
dumping gr Durham any time soon, too busy planning your trip around the world in a pink caddilac.
Trapped – Maths
Pretty self explanatory. Who would intentionally embark on a 3 year maths degree? The saboteur is you: welcome to hell. If you do manage to escape with your sanity in tact, you have literally defeated the odds.