Biology: Mamma Mia
With all that knowledge about how the body works… my my, how can anyone resist you? You are the edgiest science, with a fire within your soul – but not quite sparky enough to do medicine (sorry Mum.)
Chemistry: Does Your Mother Know?
That you spend half your time in labs and the other half doing shots of C2H5OH? Better take it slow if you want to make that 9am…
Classics: Why Did It Have To Be Me?
A question asked by every classicist when embarking on Intermediate Greek. When you were lonely, you needed a man, so you turned to Ovid and quickly realised your loyalties were misplaced. Virgil, it had to be you.
Education: When I Kissed The Teacher
Pretty self-explanatory. Predominantly in it for the summer holidays and hot professors.
Engineering: Super Trouper
You’re sick and tired of everything: from being asked to assemble Ikea furniture, to people mistaking your degree for computer science. There are moments when you think you’re going crazy but then you remember your prospective salary and quickly feel like Number One.
English: My Love, My Life
Your love for Austen and Dickens is unrivalled. If not reading, you are drinking coffee whilst contemplating unexplored critical theory. Although you’ve analysed Woolf and Joyce so much you no longer know what a stream of consciousness is, they’re still your one and only.
The social sciences sticking together
Geography: One of Us
One of us is colouring, one of us is wishing we were traveling. You sit in the library, yearning to be anywhere else (maybe somewhere in South-East Asia, dreaming of the gap year you never had.)
History: Take A Chance On Me
People write you off as dull before you can even mutter ‘French Rev.’ Yes, you have a thing for the past but that doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy a glass of Pinot over a good Time Team box set. Your best chat up line: “Take your time baby, I’m in no hurry.”
Languages: Andante, Andante
So exciting that you can translate it twice. Take your time, make it slow… slow enough to eke out a year abroad. Think Lily James in edgy dungarees, settling down on a Greek Island somewhere. Sigh.
Ai-je mentionné que je suis bilingue?
Law: Money, Money, Money
It’s common knowledge that you don’t do an undergraduate law degree for the fun of it. You work all night, you work all day, updating your Linkedin Profile to pave the way. All you wanted was to find a Harvey Specter but alas, a man like that is hard to find.
Maths: SOS
Save our souls? Solving obscure sums? The face people make when you tell them your degree sums it up: “I really tried to make it out, I wish I understood.” A Level maths seems like a distant dream… it used to be so nice, it used to be so good.
Medicine: I Have a Dream
As eloquently put in your personal statement, you dreamed of being a doctor before you were even out of the womb. It’s a long old seven-year slog, but you push through the darkness, knowing your destination makes it worth the while.
Philosophy: Name Of The Game
Does it mean anything to you? Anyone? You’re in a perpetual existential crisis, pouring over Plato and wondering if anything is actually real. Spoiler: the name of the game is transferable skills. Or is it?
Physics: Slipping Through My Fingers
It really is all slipping through your fingers – your sanity, social life, sense of purpose… Sometimes you wish you could freeze the theoretical picture and save it from the funny tricks of time, so you gratefully turn to The Grand Design and Black Holes for comfort.
Slipping into the Black Hole like…
Psychology: Knowing Me, Knowing You
Memories, good days, bad days – just a normal 9-5 for a psychology student. The good: someone finally fills in your questionnaire on Facebook after weeks of pestering, the bad: stats class and APA formatting.
Sociology: Dancing Queen
A classic but kind of basic. You’re not exactly having the time of your life but you’re thankful for your minimal contact hours so you can spend as much time dancing in clubs as possible. Think less Fields of Wheat and more Young and Sweet.
You’re a teaser, you turn ’em on