The biggest (figurative) dicks in the animal kingdom, pt. 1

Lions

Lions, those poor creatures, have had to deal with humans embedding all sorts of symbolism in them for thousands of years. In addition to their part in the Lion King, I suspect that if only they’ve had the sense to hire a decent lawyer they would be entitled to an astronomical amount of royalties, but as it stands they seem to be more or less content with lying around not giving a shit, go for the occasional hunt and every now and then kill innocent, helpless babies.

That’s right, there’s a high probability that Simba at one point will come to the annoying conclusion that one of the lionesses he will be trying to get with is not interested due to the fact that she already has healthy offsprings with good genes that demand her attention and care. A problem he will deal with in the most brutally efficient way possible, after which I imagine he will offer an apologetic smile, say ‘Hakuna Matata, biatch’ and proceed to engage in copulatory activities with the bereaved mother.

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