A poetic reflection following the discovery of the TV program ‘Finding Bigfoot’. If you haven’t seen it, watch it. You won’t regret it.
As a little background it might help to watch the following YouTube video:
N.B. ‘Squatch’ is the certified technical abbreviation used by the ‘Finding Bigfoot’ team for the sasquatch, better known as bigfoot.
Dear mythical creature, gallant sasquatch,
My thanks I give you for I’ve just watched.
Elusive ape, you have mastered foul play;
Producing programmes I’d watch everyday.
Somehow and somewhere, God only knows how,
Someone high up signed the deal to allow
Four gormless heroes, with peanuts for brains,
Funding for their quest, come wind, shine or rain.
Kitted out like knights from medieval years,
In priceless suits of the best squatchin’ gear,
Our glorious team of squatch-loving dudes
Are fearless when facing made-up baboons.
Peering from beneath his savage curtains,
Of squatch’s existence, leader Matt is certain.
Founding BFRO, amusing the nation;
The Bigfoot Research Organisation.
Sporting a cap, frizzy hair wild below
Marches their trump card, his name is Bobo;
An expert wizened caller of the ‘squatch’
His warbling sounds are side-splitting to watch.
To complete the team of barmy nutcases
Are Cliff and Renae with empty head-spaces.
These four fanatics roam the woods at night
Convincing themselves that bigfoot’s in sight.
This mad bunch of squatchers think it’s a science:
No chance it’s bears or raccoons or lions
They hear replying to their expert ‘knocks’,
Truly once made by slapping Matt’s flip-flops.
They are probably out there as we speak
Praying to God ‘Let us catch him this week’.
Their lifetimes spent hunting mythical beasts,
Bulging pockets are consoling at least.
Perhaps these men-children, wasting their days
Could be depressing in multiple ways.
Perhaps I’d shed a tear at the waste of time and money,
But my eyes are bone dry, it’s just too damn funny.