The Ultimate Movie Guide to 2016

Prepare yourself. There are some proper crackers set to be coming to screen this year. It was super hard to cut it down. To stop from overwhelming you too much, I put it in nice sub-sections and definitely not in descending-excitement order. Because that would be too hard. Keeping up with the movie industry is an impossible task nowadays. *sigh*

Non-Fiction Movies

Race

Race illustrates the true story of Jesse Owens’ quest to become the fastest athlete in Olympic history at the 1936 Berlin games. Absolutely cannot wait for the #lol@uHitler moment. Genuinely though, really looking forward to this story being told.

Screen capture of the Race trailer

Eddie the Eagle

A comedy and (partially) true story about Eddie Edwards, Great Britain’s first ski jumper in the 1988 Winter Olympics. Featuring Taron Egerton (from Kingsman: The Secret Service), Hugh Jackman, and Christopher Walken, this is looking to be the British (but awesome) answer to Cool Runnings.

Snowden

The story of Edward ‘whistle-blower’ Snowden and his decision to rat out the US government to the public is being told on screen for the first time, starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I didn’t manage to read about his background when it was going down in 2013, so I’ll definitely be watching this. As will the NSA no doubt….

Free State of Jones

This movie is an epic action drama biography of Newt Knight, who led an armed rebellion against the Confederacy during the American Civil War. Hint: it looks really good. And what year would be complete without Matthew McConaughey anyway.

Big Short

The Big Short is the moment the bankers of the 2008 financial crisis get caught. Finally. This movie stars Christian Bale, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling and Brad Pitt as the men who took them down. (The cast aren’t actually wildly off-piste from the real men, surprisingly.) But still, an important movie to go see – apparently they explain financial terms in the movie for all those people who don’t read the Economist. It’s directed by Adam McKay, (Anchorman, Get Hard) so those looking for some comedy won’t fall asleep either.

Loving Vincent

A Vincent Van Gogh feature film will also be screening later this year, featuring Saoirse Ronan, Aidan Turner and Douglas Booth portraying the life and death of the famous painter. No trailer as yet. Just a heads up.

Fiction Movies

(that all ended up being comedies)

Deadpool

Another comic-turned-movie set to come out this year, Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) is probably the most unconventional anti-hero to date. I’m hopeful that this manipulation of the hero ‘mould’ will make a refreshing production. Reynolds certainly seems to be enjoying the PR stunts anyway (see Youtube.)

Screen capture of the Deadpool trailer

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

A Tina Fey comedy that was originally titled the Taliban Shuffle, WTF follows a female war journalist in Afghanistan and Pakistan. Cracking stuff.

Ghostbusters

The remake of the ‘Who you gonna call?’ iconic sci-fi movie from 1984, Ghostbusters this time stars Chris Hemsworth, Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy. This movie could go wildly in either direction, although I’m praying it’s good because bad remakes are quite literally the worst.

Zoolander 2

Along with the original main cast, Z2 features Justin Bieber, which for some reason I think was an absolutely brilliant idea, along with many other celebrities. Much attractive. Also looking forward to seeing Kimye deservedly playing themselves in this movie. ‘Do we even need a plot’ is my question.

The Boss

Melissa McCarthy. The woman who constantly generates cough-inducing hilarity has come out this year with a tale of industry-titan-turned-girl-scout. As you do. But only after she lands time in jail and loses all credibility does she turn to teaching girl scouts how to sell cookies… like a boss. (Hence the title. Hope you got that one.)

How to be Single

If you haven’t seen the trailer and shared it to your single friends, you’re doing it wrong. Featuring Rebel Wilson and Dakota Johnson, it is a completely unlikely story set in the oh-so-distant social-world of New York. It will also probably help to reverse the fight for feminists around the world, but at least there’ll be a few laughs along the way.

Absolutely Fabulous

Oh yes. They’re back. I cannot wait. I’m tentatively scared that it won’t do 6 seasons of Eddie and Patsy’s shenanigans justice, but I’m going to watch it anyway. Because it’s absolutely fabulous, darling.

Nice Guys

The dark horse of this list no doubt. Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe (cracking combo) team up in 1970’s LA to investigate a porn star suicide. Crime and dark humour work really well together, much like these actors, so I cannot wait.

Dad’s Army

After 40 years of retirement, the WW2 Home Guard are finally doing a movie, and with the expected cast switches (they were old men), we can look forward to seeing Bill Nighy, Mark Gatiss, Michael Gambon and Blake Harrison (The Inbetweeners) joining the ranks in this rather improved-production-quality movie. Also looking forward to seeing the increased presence of women. Because equality. Hoorah.

Screen capture of the Dad’s Army trailer
Live Action/Animation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

Yay a sequel. It’s Michael Bay so it’ll probably feel very much like all his other movies and it explains why it’s featuring Megan Fox (wink). But in all honesty this actually looks a lot truer to the TV show than the first one in 2014 so here’s to movie comebacks.

Warcraft

Rather niche, but this is my list so I don’t care. An epic of great proportions awaits, people. (The video game) World of Warcraft, in movie style. Who’s excited? I am. Why? Because I was an Orc once and I can relate. Lots of deep voices and an unexpected coalition await…

The Jungle Book

One of the most highly anticipated movies of 2016, this is probably going to be a nomination grabber. The classic childhood tale of Mowgli being raised in the jungle by animals in a grown up adaptation is set to be epic.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

The prequel to JK Rowling’s Harry Potter stories, this plot recalls the adventures of writer Newt Scamander in New York’s wizarding world, played by Eddie Redmayne. The outcome of this movie is going to be very interesting for many reasons – it’s already caused controversy and hasn’t even come out yet. As if Warner Brothers was going to stop after Harry Potter.

Finding Dory

I still remember Ellen DeGeneres announcing that this was being made last year. Still excited. Dory is great. For all those who live in a hole, watch Finding Nemo first please. You can thank me later.

Secret Life of Pets

I’ve watched this trailer a million times and I will keep watching it until the movie comes out. The title says all you need to know. It’s basically an animation of pet stereotypes and it’s such a brilliant concept. Really hope the movie doesn’t let me down though, which I have a sneaking suspicion it might do.

Storks

The people who come up with movie concepts for kids are genius. As you can probably imagine this is a movie about storks delivering babies from Stork Mountain. Or in this day and age, packages from the internet because babies are too old school and they had to up their game. Unfortunately something goes wrong on the production line… and that is where I stop. Hehe. (CAUTION: Do not watch with your Significant Other if you do not want a reason for a ‘delivery’. Many babies featured.)

Zootopia

Animals seem to be the running theme for 2016…. But this is my personally most highly anticipated animation of the year. Zootopia is set in a city of anthropomorphic animals where a con artist fox (classic) and a rookie bunny cop work together to uncover a conspiracy. Judging by the trailer, it’s going to be one of those movies that kids will love and adults will appreciate about a million times more… Good thing I’m a grown up then.

Screen capture of the Zootopia trailer

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