Being over two weeks into January you are, almost certainly, recovered from the Christmas and New Year festivities. And so, with the hangover fading, I think it is time to look forward to 2012; for I believe this is going to be a rather eventful year.
With our dear old PMʼs tough stand in Europe towards the end of last year I fear tensions will be running high. Calls for the roast beef to be served burnt among the European politicians may be rather more common during 2012. With the Euro crumbling around us it is likely we will once more have strangely shaped pieces of metal lying at the bottom of our suitcases; at least it means we will have something to throw at the police during this year’s 2nd annual riot.
Mr Cameronʼs foreign policy certainly means our chances in this year’s Eurovision song contest are minimal at best (thank God). Hopefully this will mean we will be saved from the usual false hope surrounding whichever poor, pathetic candidate they choose.
Then, of course, we have the Olympics. Oh yes, the Olympics; how we all cheered when it was announced Britain was the host. How we cried with joy when we saw Boris carrying the Olympic torch. How we cried when the Olympics budget was announced, why should the taxpayer fund the Olympics; we donʼt even get free tickets to go and see the damn thing. Personally it does not bother me that I have to buy tickets as I have no plans to be interested. I do not want to watch as we succeed at only those events which involve boats and bicycles for, to me, those events are not important; surely the Olympics are about running, jumping and throwing.
I believe for the rest of the year we will simply drift along on a wave of misery, poverty and disappointment. In a sense it will be the British going back to the old days, maybe a bit too far back for most people but nevertheless it may be good for us. Maybe 2012 is the year in which we British will ﬁnally accept who we are, no more will we be the lap dog of America. For one I hope that we will drop our obsession with consumerism, mostly because I am bored with not understanding the adverts on the television. I donʼt want to be seduced by my television I want to know what they are trying to sell me. I do not think I am alone in thinking this, if any of you saw the wonderful series by Charlie Brooker called Black Mirror then you will recognize some of the thoughts I set down here. The second episode of that particular series was not so much frightening but believable. If you exaggerated the world in which we live by only a fraction then I could see it being true.
If my words and predications for 2012 displease you then, my dear reader, do not fear it is most likely I am being over the top, nihilistic and absurd. But even if it is true and the world is collapsing around us you only have one more year to put up with it, for if the Mayans are to be believed then the world will be at an end shortly and if the Olympics go as badly as I predict we will be welcoming the end with open arms.