Cinema – Comparable to Guantánamo Bay

Sent by Satan? Or just money-grabbing studios?

They say that boarding school is an unforgettable experience, and aside from the experience of being buggered in the showers regularly, I had the experience of watching a different film every night as there was nothing else to do after callover. This meant that whilst I have now seen enough films to sound pretentious when I talk about then, all the films I saw were either all on DVD or completely and legitimately downloaded legally. *cough*.

My recent trip to the cinema therefore was a rare adventure, and one which I intend on doing as infrequently as possible. My friend and I left for the cinema with ample time to see Toy Story 3, but in 2D because we both didn’t want to dish out the extra money for 3D. Thanks to my friends splendiferous navigational skills we arrived half an hour late for the 2D showing, and since we didn’t want to wait 2 hours for the next one, we ended up paying the extra money for 3D.

It was after this experience that I called the police and informed them that I had, in fact, been robbed in broad daylight. £7.90 the cashier informed me. I told her that my friend and I were paying separately, and instead of apologizing as the British do so well, she just sagely nodded and held out her open palm. £7.90! And that was with my student ID. My friend who had forgotten his paid the adult rate – which came to £10.90. Now, I don’t how long this atrocity has been going on, but we ought to make a stand against it.

Part of what angered me so much was that the extra £2.30 to watch it in 3D, complete with ridiculous glasses, was genuinely not worth it. Toy Story 3 was a great film, but in no way was that down to it being in 3D. I couldn’t notice the difference at all, aside from the film being darker because we were wearing sort-of-but-not-quite sunglasses. I am in the minority thinking that Avatar was overhyped, and that 3D is more of a gimmick than a revolution, as the “improvement”, if there is one, is marginal at best. I don’t feel more immersed in the film, I just feel like an idiot wearing sunglasses indoors.

Film studios though love making films in 3D because they can charge a much higher price, and people are more likely to see a film in the cinema for the sake of 3D than on TV or torrenting it. Clash of the Titans was a terrible film, but it managed to outgross decent films such as Scott Pilgrim vs. the World because of the extra prices in 3D, and because the generation that Scott Pilgrim was aimed at is used to not spending any money for things. It’s a shame that there is a demand for 3D, as this is why film-makers keep using this satanic piece of technology. I’m not a fan of Pol Pot’s at all, but I would be up for a year zero type event, if it applied to the removal of 3D technology.

On a different note, even if I hadn’t seen the film in 3D, which as I have already stated was not worth it, but in 2D, it still would’ve cost £5.60. On a student rate. And this is even before anyone has bought food or beverages at another extortionate price, which for some reason are also the loudest possible foods you could eat in the cinema. It’s all very well telling people not to download films for free because that somehow funds terrorism, but it’s hardly surprising that people do it when the ticket prices are so ridiculously high. I now implore you not to go to be exploited, and I for one will be boycotting cinemas in the future. I definitely won’t be going to the cinema any time soon, unless I go there on a date. Or with a friend because I have nothing else to do. Or because I want to see a great film, and I don’t want to wait until it is on DVD. Come to think of it, I guess I will be going to the cinema again. Dammit.

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